I’m writing this blog post in order to ruminate about the passing of my best friend, confidant, and lover of five years, Dolores Willis. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened and I feel like a part of me is missing.

In summary, on Monday, August 22, 2011, after a wonderful weekend with Dolores and her family, eating, drinking, boating, and fishing, I left her house in Rome, Georgia at 5 am as she was getting ready for work. I didn’t hear from her on Monday evening or Tuesday morning, which was very unusual and it concerned me. Something didn’t feel right, so I attempted to contact her every way I could think of (text, home phone, cel phone, email, work, and through family). Finally, her mom went to her house at 10 am and found her unconscious (Dolores never regained consciousness). She was rushed to the hospital where her family and I stayed with her until she finally passed away 11 days later. The doctors aren’t sure what happened, but think she had walking pneumonia combined with an unusually low blood sugar level (she wasn’t diabetic), and those two issues triggered the events that led to her death.

Dolores worked at Floyd Medical Center as a Registered Nurse in the Cath Lab (previously she worked in the Vascular Lab) for 15 years and most everyone at the hospital knew her. She and I would often talk about our respective work, and while I met some of her co-workers at a couple of company functions, I wasn’t prepared for the large number of co-workers (and friends) who stopped by her room in CCU to spend time with her. They really cared about her and were all shocked and saddened at her situation. Working in the Cath Lab, Dolores worked closely with CCU whenever she was at work, so all the doctors and nurses knew her including the night nurses she would interact with when she was on call. It must have been incredibly hard for them all to see her as a friend, co-worker, and patient in the state she was in. Many of them spoke to me and expressed how often she spoke about me.

I can’t express enough how great the hospital treated all the friends and family who visited Dolores. I’m sure Floyd’s patient care is top notch, but as Dolores was a long-time and highly-respected employee (she was in the running for nurse of the year last year), they went out of their way to make sure that we were all as comfortable as possible. In CCU, the waiting room wraps around the patient rooms, so all family and visitors could hang out in the waiting room and go in and spend time with Dolores whenever we liked. Several times the hospital even sent up a complimentary cart of drinks and snacks for us.

Dolores’ sister, Rebecca, is also a Registered Nurse at Floyd. For all intents and purposes, she became Dolores’ full-time personal nurse making sure that Dolores was as comfortable, and well taken care of, as humanly possible. It was comforting to have someone who really knew the medical system and could explain it to all of us.

I’m grateful to Dolores’ immediate family (siblings and children) for treating me as family. They let me spend as much time in Dolores’ room as I liked (with and without them), I stayed overnight in the waiting room, and was included in all the doctor’s consults and reports.

I was pleasantly surprised and proud of the maturity of my kids: Wesley (16) and Sydney (13). When I told them what happened, they asked if it would be OK if they could come up and see her. They did, and we sat in Dolores’ room and spoke about her. (I don’t know if I could have done that at their ages.) Then, they met Dolores’ family and friends in the waiting room before going back to Atlanta. Dolores loved my kids (as I do hers), and was never jealous of the attention I paid them. She and I agreed that family would always come first. I think she enjoyed watching them compete in their various sporting events as much as I did and I’m glad they were able to say goodbye to her.

The Sunday following Dolores’ death, the family held an informal reception at a local funeral home.

I appreciate the tremendous outpouring of support I have received from family, friends, and the disc dog community. Dolores travelled with me internationally and headed up the World Championship sales tent so, many disc doggers became her friends. It was a completely different world for her, and she loved it. She had scheduled the World Championship week off from work, and was really forward to this year’s finals and seeing everyone again.

Finally, special thanks to my close friend Jeff Perry. While it is not part of my makeup to ask for anything, if I can help it, he supported and carried me through the most difficult time. Despite my telling him not to come to the hospital, at some point early on, he surprised me by showing up unannounced at the hospital. He hung out with me and sat with Dolores on and off for a few days, staying in the waiting room with me, before I convinced him to go back to his family. And, he has been an island, in my ocean, to lean on since then.

I think of Dolores many times each day and miss her so much. Her sudden and unexpected passing, shocked, saddened, and ripped me apart. Words can’t begin to express the loss. Every time I think about her or when I look at her picture, I can’t help but shake my head in disbelief. Saying, “I can’t believe it,” has become a habit. The best way to get through the day is to try and stay busy because the more free time I have, the more I think of her, her family, and our loss. I realize that time heals, and I need to carry on, but for now, it’s just painful, as everything I do reminds me of her. I miss our daily telephone calls, texts, emails, and spending time with her. She was worldly, intelligent, and beautiful. It’s lonely without her.

Best of all, she loved me and I loved her. Hey Babe, I miss you, and I love you…:-)

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