Peter Bloeme Founder's Blog

In the several months since Dolores’ passing, I have thought about her often. In no particular order, here are some of the new thoughts and memories I have of her that I left off my previous list.

She loved the book (and series): The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. She was looking forward to the release of the movie this Christmas.

She loved Baklava.

Her birthday was January 1 and when she was a little girl, thought everyone was celebrating her birthday.

Always loved to sleep and when she was little, her brothers and sister, convinced her she had slept through Christmas.

She loved soup (I do too) and we would often order it when we were out. She also made great soup.

I think of her every time I run as I put shoes on that she gave me for Christmas last year. She was very supportive of my running and came out to the Peachtree Road Race with me a couple of years ago (The only time I have run it).

She didn’t work out, but would walk the stairs at work sometimes sneaking out on the roof of the hospital.

She had three “official” twelve hour shifts at work each week as a nurse, but would always work at least one additional day.

She had the morning shift at work which began around 7 am each day, but would often arrive early so she could park in her favorite space. She was not happy when someone had already taken it…:-) Then, she would walk through the “Gerbil” tunnel (which spanned across the busy street) from the parking lot to the hospital.

Going to Waffle House on Saturday and/or Sunday morning and sharing breakfast with her. (I haven’t been since even though we used to go at least once a week).

Eating at our favorite restaurants together (Eclipse De Luna, China Cooks, Nuevo Laredo, Apres Diem (Haven’t been to any of them since).

She loved the Godfather movie series and I bought her the DVD set for Christmas a few years ago.

We were looking forward to watching the new season of Dexter on DVD together (I bought it and watched it without her, feeling a bit guilty doing so).

She loved the television series Top Chef, loved to talk about the episodes, and would get annoyed if she missed one and you gave away the ending.

In the several months since Dolores’ passing, I have thought about her often. In no particular order, here are some of the thoughts and memories I have of her that you may not know.

She loved getting flowers, but was not crazy about roses.

She was a little on edge whenever she saw large groups of birds because of the Alfred Hitchcock movie, “The Birds.”

Whether I was with her or not, Dolores would blow a kiss every time she would drive by the back of Atlanta Rocks! on I-75!

Her generosity. A co-worker of hers told me a story when she came to visit Dolores in the hospital about Dolores. A number of years ago, this woman had a sick child, but was not eligible for any paid time off. Dolores arranged with the hospital to give this woman a week of her accrued time off, so she would be able to care for her sick child, but still be paid. Dolores knew how tough it was to be a single mom.

She loved cooking and I loved the fabulous meals she made for me. She enjoyed reading cooking magazines (I got her a subscription to Gourmet Magazine) and loved using her iPhone recipe apps to plan meals for us.

Reading the Sunday paper together. (I haven’t read it since…)

Her love of sports (Braves, Falcons, Hawks, UGA, Georgia Tech). She would actually listen or watch them on TV on her own. She also loved the Green Bay Packers (because of their outdoor stadium and hardy fans).

Watching sports at a sports bar and sharing a pitcher of beer with her. She would watch on and off while working on the crossword puzzle.

She loved crossword puzzles.

Going to Home Depot on the weekend while we were renovating her house and spending time talking with our buddy Kenny.

Working on renovation together. She would hold, clean, paint, and mix.

Her love of shoes, and during the renovation of her closet, I built her shelves for her shoes. Previously, they were scattered in the closet, guest closet, and under her bed.

Her love of travel and experiencing new things.

She was always cold except in Japan when it felt like it was 110 degrees.

Her competitiveness in playing Scrabble with her daughter Mallory through an iPhone app.

I’m writing this blog post in order to ruminate about the passing of my best friend, confidant, and lover of five years, Dolores Willis. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened and I feel like a part of me is missing.

In summary, on Monday, August 22, 2011, after a wonderful weekend with Dolores and her family, eating, drinking, boating, and fishing, I left her house in Rome, Georgia at 5 am as she was getting ready for work. I didn’t hear from her on Monday evening or Tuesday morning, which was very unusual and it concerned me. Something didn’t feel right, so I attempted to contact her every way I could think of (text, home phone, cel phone, email, work, and through family). Finally, her mom went to her house at 10 am and found her unconscious (Dolores never regained consciousness). She was rushed to the hospital where her family and I stayed with her until she finally passed away 11 days later. The doctors aren’t sure what happened, but think she had walking pneumonia combined with an unusually low blood sugar level (she wasn’t diabetic), and those two issues triggered the events that led to her death.

Dolores worked at Floyd Medical Center as a Registered Nurse in the Cath Lab (previously she worked in the Vascular Lab) for 15 years and most everyone at the hospital knew her. She and I would often talk about our respective work, and while I met some of her co-workers at a couple of company functions, I wasn’t prepared for the large number of co-workers (and friends) who stopped by her room in CCU to spend time with her. They really cared about her and were all shocked and saddened at her situation. Working in the Cath Lab, Dolores worked closely with CCU whenever she was at work, so all the doctors and nurses knew her including the night nurses she would interact with when she was on call. It must have been incredibly hard for them all to see her as a friend, co-worker, and patient in the state she was in. Many of them spoke to me and expressed how often she spoke about me.

The bird, the one finger salute, the finger…what do they all mean? A hateful non-verbal message. Something along the lines of, I hate you, I hate what you did, I hate what you stand for. But, is the gesture really effective if only the “giver” is the one who “appreciates” the “gesture?”

Every weekday morning I drive one of my kids to school depending on which one is ready to leave first (they go to different schools). On this particular day, I drove to the house, didn’t experience any morning traffic, and tooled in the far right lane of the interstate the whole way since I didn’t have far to go and wasn’t in any particular hurry. I wasn’t changing lanes, not riding anyone’s bumper, not going too slow or fast, and didn’t cut anyone off. Seemed like a pretty uneventful drive to me.

However, as I exited the interstate in the right lane, the person behind me blared their horn, then zoomed past me in the left lane. I looked over and the male driver appeared to be staring at me and giving me that previously mentioned, non-verbal message. I was stunned because, the only thing I could think of was, he must have me confused with someone else. But, then the left lane slowed and my right lane continued moving so that I slowly passed him again. Looking over, he stared directly at me and waved his hand at me.

I gave him an honest, what the heck expression, shrugged my shoulders, raised my open hands in the air, and went on my merry way. Frankly, I was so puzzled, and wanted to feel his pain, that for a brief moment thought about rolling down my window and asking him what he was so upset with me about…but didn’t. After all, if someone is that mad, I would only come across as condescending and antagonizing if I didn’t get it, and that might escalate the situation. I mean, who wants to get shot early in the morning???

However, it got me to wondering…When we are really effective?

Can we be effective if the experience is all contained within ourselves or shared with others who are clueless about the experience, or can we only be effective when other’s notice and benefit or appreciate our actions?

I do not believe in blogging about politics. Virtually 50% of readers are going to agree with what you have to say (Oh, you are so right!) and 50% are going to disagree with you (What kind of moron are you?)…And, this is regardless of what you say! Politics have a much lower approval rate than, say, disc dogs…So, my feeling has always been, why bother, don’t go out of your way to encourage people to dislike you, and it’s not going to do any good anyway…until now!

I just finished reading an article that reported that Jerry Seinfeld pulled out of a St Jude Children’s Research Hospital benefit because of a political disagreement with Donald Trump.

Now, I don’t give a rat’s you know what about this little political infighting between those two, what really has me upset is the reported agreement rider that Seinfeld had insisted upon to appear, “Hershey’s Almond Kisses, original Fig Newtons, and cold vegetable trays. It was further reported that Seinfeld also insisted on “NO CUSHIONED STOOLS!”

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing particularly displeasing with Seinfeld’s requests (Well, maybe to 10% of you)…just that he had such a request.

With his long running popular television series (Seinfeld) where he was paid, I don’t know, like a billion dollars per episode, and probably makes a million dollars per episode in syndication, you’d think he could afford to get his wife, girlfriend, agent, or friend of a friend, to pick up those items for him on the way over…

I’ve probably upset 50% of you by finally blogging this opinion, but there are times when a man just has to do what he feels is right, regardless of the repercussions.

And, just for the record, if you voice your displeasure of my opinion, and then request a disc dog clinic for your club or organization, just you WAIT for my agreement rider. It’s going to make Seinfeld’s look like a whiney little boy’s in comparison. I’m really going to stick it to you or, “No soup clinic for you!!!” Now, get out of my shop…